A little fun...Thanks Melissa

**Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

********Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? ******

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? ***

***Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? *****

***Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? ***

***Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? ***

***Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? ****

****Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? ****

****Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? ***

***If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? ****

**Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? ***

*****Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? ***

***Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? ***

***Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? ***

*****Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? ****

****How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? ***

***When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" ***

***Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? ****

****In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? ***

***How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? ***

***And my FAVORITE......

****The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. **