I have to be the worst blogger in the world - days and days go by with no update for me.
Well.....I took two tests - I took one yesterday afternoon - BFN and one this morning - BFN.
I am due for AF on Wednesday - but it will be prolonged because of the progesterone - I will be going for a blood test on Wednesday - which will be a big fat waste of $20. I don't know why I am even bothering - I must be a glutton for punishment - like I want to hear her say - nope sorry - negative - Jeez! I can't even get a false positive.
I know I said I wasn't expecting it to happen in the first round - it so rarely does - but part of me is like "Holy Shit - they put 5million good sperm in my uterus - and not one freakin' tadpole could find it's way - what the fuck is the point - why the hell am I putting myself through this?" This past month I have been poked and prodded - 20 viles of blood have been taken from me, I downed Clomid pills, I had sonograms, I am currently shoving progesterone suppositories up me (real fun) - I have been wearing a pad for a week and I don't even have AF yet! Maybe it just isn't going to happen for me - maybe I should just give all this shit up- count my blessings and move the fuck on!
OK OK I know - pessimism does not become me - I am the silver lining chick - the "your baby isn't done cooking" chick - so I promise to get over this quick.
I went to the Yankee game - I left in the 7th inning - they were beating Texa 8 - 1, that is much better than yesterday's embarrassment!!! Come on guys - get it together! That is the thing with the Yankees - they aren't happy unless they are ripping your guts out!
We took my two nieces - they seemed to have a good time and I navigated the subways pretty good. All in all it was a nice day.
Neurologist Appointment for Dad on Wednesday - discussion about MS - not looking forward to it.
My husband gets results of heart monitoring on Wednesday too - I hope all is well.
So many things set up for Wednesday - I pray it is not a day of bad news - not sure how much more this back can take.
My brother (in the Army) can't come to my niece's party next Saturday - he was picked for a mission that he is not allowed to talk to us about b/c it is classified - OK so now I am not worried! He says it isn't dangerous but he lies.
OK - I think that is it because this was a dreary downer post - Sorry - I finally update and it is this bullshit.
I hope everyone is doing ok. Bye.
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3 comments:
Jenn, I'm so sorry about your BFN. I know it's hard and I'm not going to go through the "it might be early" (I already posted that on PW). You have been through a lot and it sucks BUT don't give up. It might take a little longer but you will be blessed with a baby...don't lose hope.
Liz
P.S. How funny I was going to go to the Yankee game but something came up.
I so hope that WED turns into a great day. I will say some prayers for you that no matter what happens on WED you will be able to handle it.
Jenn,
I hope today starts looking up for you a little more. I hate that you are having a bad day. Whatever happens Wed, you know you have us to come home to and your wonderful husband too, but I pray that it is all positive.
Love ya,
Jess
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