I have taken down my ticker - I should have known it wouldn't work - that is what I fucking get for being optimistic. I took a test this morning - a first response early detection - 2 days before AF is due or 12dpo - BFN - a big fat MOCKING Negative - this fucking sucks. I sat on my bed this morning and looked at my husband - when he looked at me I just shook my head - he knew what I meant - "Nope, failed again! My fucking ovaries just aren't cooperating."
So this is it I think - I will be going on injectibles next cycle and if that doesn't work then I am done, finito, caput - I am done with this roller coaster ride - I will need to accept that another baby just isn't in the cards for us and have to believe that there is some plan behind why Joey can't have a brother or sister.
I am so tired today - I am tired of the letdowns, I am tired of the false hope - I am just tired of this whole process. It is like a slap in the face to have to keep using the suppositories right now when I know there is no reason for it - but I have to continue until my blood test on Thursday - another waste of a $20 copay - I hate this.
I pray that Heather gets some good news with her 3 beans - we need some light on the PW board - it is getting so depressing over there.
OK - I am out - I need to work, unfortunately.
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5 comments:
I'm sorry about the BFN Jenn! I was really hoping and praying that this was going to be IT for you.
It isn't over yet, so I will keep that bitch Hope guarded for you.
Thinking of you. Take care!
DAMN DAMN DAMN! SON OF A BITCH!!!
FUCKIN FUCK!!!
I think that says it all!!
Jenn,
I am so so sorry. I don't know what else to say, I will pray it was the HPT and that you still get your BFP.
Again I am so sorry.
Jenna
I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to take your pain away. I will keep praying that you get your BFP very soon.
Jenn,
I am still going to hope for you that the little bean implanted late. I can hope for you and you can hope for me since I don't seem to have much for myself either!! I am not going to take the HPT. I just can't ruin today too. I am sorry that it is neg.
Heather
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