OK -so maybe I am a moody psycho

When I was pregnant with Joey 


OK - so maybe I am a moody, emotional psycho. Maybe I am suffering from a classic case of PMS. Hell, maybe I am having a nervous breakdown. But I am sitting here mourning a pregnancy that I may never have instead of thanking God that I was able to experience it just once. I know what it is like to have a baby growing inside of me, to feel the first movement and hear the heartbeat for the first time.

I know what it is like to tell my husband that I am pregnant, what it is like to hold my baby in my arms moments after he was brought into this world. I know what it is like to feed, clothe, bathe, diaper, kiss, hug and love my own child. Do I want another one - of course - but look what an amazing thing I have already been blessed with. Look how lucky I am already when there are so many women who can't even have one.

So this is to God:
Dear God,
Thank you so much for my family. For my wonderful husband, with all of his faults and idiosynchracies (sp?). Thank you for my son - the most amazing little boy I feel was put on this earth.
I admit I will still ask you for another child - but if it is not in the plan for me to have another - thank you so much for what you have already given me. Watching this little boy grow has been the most amazing humbling heartbreaking experience of my life. Thank you for my little miracle.
Amen

To Ally and Lesley: Thank you guys so much for being there for me and for understanding what I have been going through. Thank you for making me laugh and not laughing at me. While this whole trying to conceive stuff sucks - I am so glad that I met the two of you.

To my husband: Thank you for not divorcing your crazy, temp taking, stick peeing, baby obsessed wife - you are an amazing man. NO matter what happens in our life, you will be mine forever - so get used to it!