Friday, January 21, 2005

I am not thinking about babies

Today, even though I had a conversation about trying to conceive with Jenna, even though I tried (and hopefully succeeded) in trying to cheer Allie up from the ttc blues, even though I was on the phone with my insurance company for an hour determining whether I need a referral for the HSG (I don't) and the Semen Analysis (I do) - I just realized that right at this moment I am not thinking about babies.

This is a big step for me - as I feel like I am slowly becoming obsessed with trying to get pregnant again. I am surfing the net for things that are NOT related with trying to conceive - I am playing with my son, I baked cookies and made dinner for my family - the family that I have - not the family that I fantasize about. I realize that I am getting tired of this - I am getting tired of another child consuming my every move - it is the first thing I must think about in the morning since I have to take my temperature - it is the last thing I think about at night because I have to make sure the thermometer is by my bed.

I am tired of this - I am tired of the testing - I am tired of peeing on sticks and licking microscopes. I am tired of the two weeks of hell after I ovulate. I am tired of telling my husband that we "have" to do it tonight. I am finally being proactive and getting the HSG done and going on the Clomid and all I feel right now is ambivalence. I know testing is the right thing to do but it seems like once I start the testing then I will be even more stressed than before because with each new step you take that is one less option you have if it doesn't work - is that a horribly pessimistic thing to say? I am on cycle day 3 so I am sure I have some left-over PMS that is at work here but I am so ready to cancel the appointment on Wednesday and just say "fuck it"!

I am worried about what the sperm analysis will say - if something is wrong how will my husband feel? Will he feel like less of a man? Will I be angry if something is up with him? Will he be angry with me if I have a problem? All of the "what ifs" have driven me to the point where I don't care anymore and I hate feeling that way. I hate that trying to get pregnant isn't this exciting wonderful time that it should be. I am becoming resentful of every pregnant woman I see and I hate that as well - why should I begrudge another woman having a baby because I can't?

Well, it is time for me to shut down this computer - Joey wants to play with his globe and I want to play with him! I am tired and I have to be up early for work tomorrow unfortunately. I have to make sure I am on time because we are supposed to be getting a huge snow storm tomorrow so I may have to leave early.

It is 8:30 here which means it is 7:30 by Ally and around noon by Lesley - I was hoping I would catch you guys online - sorry I missed you. I will talk to you all tomorrow.

Bye

2 comments:

Ally said...

As you know Jenn, I feel the exact same way. I keep hitting roadblocks and I try to be positive and go on to the next thing. What if's are always on my mind and I hate that. I just wish I knew what my future would hold. If I am not destined to have another child, then so be it. At least I could relax, accept it, and move on. If only we had the option of knowing.

I didn't post a blog today as you know...I'm just too bummed out by the whole process. I resent the people asking questions on PW. I realize I have to back away and just regroup. I hope I can...maybe the three of us can do it together.

Sorry I didn't see you or Les online tonight, we were painting craft projects (trying to get my mnd of things). Have a good day at work and I'll talk to you later.

Love Ally (YMST)

Jenna said...

Jenn,
It is really good you are able to think about other things. It is so hard... I am already obsessed. It is so hard not to be after having something (or being so close to having it) and losing it. I have tried to say fuck it and stop carring so many times. But I just can't I want a baby so bad.
Testing seems really scary. I haven't gotten that far even though I probably should but it is hard to bring yourself to that point. Good luck you are in my thoughts.
Jenna