Doc Appt yesterday

Well....no news on gender! At 1:00pm the office called me to let me know that my doctor would not be there and I would be seeing the Nurse Practitioner. When I asked about the sono, they said that there wouldn't be a technician there and I could re-schedule if I wanted to...I said screw it and went anyway.

So here are the stats:

Baby A - heartbeat 156
Baby B - heartbeat 148
Uterus - About the size of 20 weeks
Weight Gain - two pounds in two weeks - nurse said I was on track
Blood Work - All came back great
Blood Pressure - 110 over 60 (I think that is what it was - she said it was perfect)
Cervix - Long and Closed - Woo Hoo - no cerclage yet - I can still have real sex!
Next Appointment - September 28th at 5:30 pm - definately getting a sono so I will know what I am having then (if they cooperate)

The appointment took all of 15 minutes form walk in the door to walk out.


In other news:

My little man started Preschool on Tuesday!!! My God - he is getting so so big - it breaks my heart sometimes.

The way they do it is you pull up in front and they take your kid out of the car - no long drawn out goodbyes - nothing - I know, seems harsh right?

So we are in the car line and he is ok and then he said to me "Mom, I really liked my Old School"

Me: "Well, I know...but let's give this a shot...it probably is really fun!"

Joey: "But....I really liked my Old School"

So, of course, I thought that I was going to have a problem, but when we pulled up he got right out, said "Bye Mom" and went into school......The little shit didn't even look back once!!!!

I know I know...that means I am raising a well adjusted little boy, secure enough that I will come back for him, confident to try new things on his own....yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah.....He didn't look back once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then to add insult to injury....he cried when I came to pick him up because he wanted to play on the playground for a little bit. Too much!!!

Finally...

While Joey was at school yesterday, I went Maternity clothes shopping...I bought 3 pairs of work pants, a skirt, two pairs of jeans, 3 sweaters, a t-shirt. I also bought 3 pairs of sweatpants for Joey, a sweat shirt and a Sony Play Station game for my husband.....$205 bucks later!

I needed clothes though.....nothing really fits anymore and I am always so uncomfortable... I couldn't take it. I went to Target....Have you seen the prices of maternity clothes at specialty stores????? So what I have left over from Joey, what I have bought so far and clothes from my Best Friend - I should be set ..... unless I get so big that I have to go out and get mu mus!



So that is my update. I am going to try to comment on blogs now (I am at work...so bad, I know!)

Have a good day everyone!

Not much to say

Well, I don't have much of an update. I am feeling better every day....the sickness is pretty much gone - I get about 5 minutes or so after I eat but absolutely NOTHING to Complain about.

I have been feeling the little ones move a couple of times a day - usually an hour or so after I eat - so that is exciting!

I have been working alot - I know it is early but I am trying to get a jump on all of my end of year work because - to hear EVERYONE tell it - I will be on bed rest sooner than I think. I don't know what it is about reproduction - whether it be trying to get pregnant, dealing with infertility, or actually being pregnant - but everyone and their mother's uncle think they should give you advice......If I want it - I will ask for it!

Joey is being so cute - it is amazing what a 3 1/2 year old (O my God - almost 4 - he will be 4 years old in less than 3 months!) can understand. Every morning he wakes up, come over to me and says "Morning Mama" and then bends to my belly and says "Good morning babies" - then in a squeeky voice says "Good morning Joey" like he is the babies talking!

I am a little upset - Joey has said that he will share both my husband and I with the babies - but when we ask if he will share his Uncle Pat he laughs and says "NNNOOOOOOOO!" I guess I know where I rate on the food chain! LOL

Well, my cable connection is broken for my camera - so instead I will post some pictures of the little man - He has grown so much!!!

Here he is about 3 months on his Christening DAy:


Here he is wrestling with his daddy! What a fierce Creature (don't you love the tighty whiteys?)

This is Joey's first Halloween....We had to put the makeup on him while he was alseep - about 1 hour later his whole face was grey!

He was about 3 or 4 months here - just hanging out on the chair!

Here is Joey on his tree swing - notice what he is sitting on? That is right - it is a spackle bucket - that is my husband - resourceful to the end - not for nothing but HE LOVED that SWING!!! LOL

I hope everyone has a Great day.

Pictures

Baby B's Profile: THis is very hard to see - his head is on the left and his arm is up. Baby B is always harder to see because he is set back a bit.

Baby B's Face - head to the left - very hard to see - left hand by face.






This is Baby A's Profile - head to the left arm up in the air.



Baby A: Face is on the right side of the picture:

Doctor's Appt. Today

I had my doctor's appointment today and my sonogram. Both babies are measuring at exactly the right size (13 weeks 4 days)!

She tried to find out the sex. First she said that if she had to say, she would say that A is a girl.
Then she moved over to B who wasn't cooperating....at the last minute she said that she might see something and B might be a Boy....THEN, she moved BACK over to A and said "Oh Wait - I think I may see something here - A might be a boy....You know what? I just really can't tell right now....next time it will be easier!"So...I still don't know - but that is ok!

I got two face shots of the babies. B is always so much harder to see than A so I have all these great pictures of A and just fuzzy pictures of B. A's heartbeat was 148, B's heartbeat was 142.

My uterus is measuring at around 18-20 weeks so she said I was right on target.

More good news - my right ovary is down to normal! My left ovary still has a few cysts but they decreased by half. My next appointment is in two weeks and the Doc will check my cervix to make sure I don't need a cerclage put in.


Ally - I hope your appointment goes well - you are still probably in there (it is 9:40am your time). I will be on IM until 4ish your time so let me know!

7 Things - per Jenna's Request

7 Things to do before I die:

1. Raise independent Well adjusted children.
2. Get really really Old - but not senile or immobile
3. Watch my children fall in love and get married
4. Go to Ireland
5. Meet all of my IPP friends
6. Get my Master's degree
7. Teach at a college or University


7 Things I can do:

1. Sit for hours and read a book - for me it is almost like watching a movie.
2. Sleep
3. Some people say I can sing - but I don't think very well.
4. Math - pretty good with numbers
5. Cook
6. Speak my mind
7. I know all the words to the songs on NOggin and can sing "Clap Hands" in Italian.


7 Things I can't do:

1. Sing or say anything besides "Clap Hands" and Curse words in Italian - or any other language.
2. Science - can't stand it!
3. Play an instrument
4. Hold a Grudge
5. Do a Back Hand Spring
6. Be fake
7. Curl my tongue (you know - make it a U shape)

7 Things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Sense of Humor
2. Sense of Humor
3. Hot Ass
4. Sense of Humor
5. I hate to admit it - but a little bit of a bad boy
6. Hair - I like good hair
7. Body Type - I like bigger stocky guys - I like to feel like a girl around my man!


7 Things I say most often:

1. Fuck
2. You eat a pound of dirt before you die
3. Fuck
4. I'm Tired - I want to Nap
5. Fuck
6. I'm Hungry
7. Did I mention - Fuck?


7 Celebrity Crushes:

1. LL Cool J
2. Aiden Quinn
3. John Taylor from Duran Duran
4. Used to crush on Brad Pitt - now, not so much
5. Used to crush on Ben Affleck - now, not so much
6. George Clooney is one Sexy Man
7. Jennifer Aniston - I'll admit it - I would turn for a night - LOL

7 people I want to do this:

1. Ally
2. Lesley
3. Jess
4. Jamie
5. Chas
6. Heather
7. Liz


Have a good day everyone and a nice weekend!

I think.....

I may have felt the babies move yesterday when I was driving home. I am not 100% sure but I felt something a little wierd. Then again last night I felt something while I was lieing down. I am only at 13 weeks (I felt Joey at 18 weeks) but I know that subsequent pregnancies, plus having twins, you can start feeling it early.

I really hope I feel it again today - if I do then I will know that it definately was the babies and I didn't just need to go to the bathroom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I hope everyone is doing well!

Idiosynchrasies (I know that is spelled wrong!)

OK - Les tagged me - so here they are. Most of my issues are with food. About 10 years ago, I took a Food Manager's course - that was it for me.

1. I hardly ever, if ever, eat leftovers - I try but it just doesn't happen. I can manage to eat pasta left over - and sometimes Chicken - but definately no beef!

2. If I bring a cold cut sandwich to work, I have to wrap my bread separately from my cold cuts. I even have to put plastic in between the ham, salami and cheese. The thought of my bread touching my meat all day before I eat makes me want to puke!!!

3. I CAN'T Clean out my fridge - that is strictly my husband's job - I feel like I have to run to the bathroom when I do it - Thankfully my husband doesn't mind doing it at all - so that is his job.

4. I can't drink milk on the day "sell by"- even if it is still good - I just can't do it.

5. I am fanatical when preparing any food with eggs - even cake batter - I wash and re-wash my hands, the utensils - everything. I freak out if my son goes ANYWHERE near raw egg. I eat my eggs scrambled WELL - there needs to be some browning of the eggs before I will eat it.


I know - I have serious issues! LOL Have a good one everybody!

Coming back to the land of the living....

Well, I feel like I am approaching the land of the living finally! I have been so sick and tired lately - the worst part is - no REAL puking - just dry heaves and nausea - which sometimes is worse! Then I got a bad cold which I couldn't take anything for - thankfully I am over the cold and the pukiness seems to be going away - or at least isn't that bad!

I am officially in my 2nd trimester!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!! It has gone by so quickly - Thank the Lord!

My next Doctor appointment is the 30th. I am not sure if I will be getting an Ultrasound - if I do it is possible that they will be able to see the sex of the babies - I am getting VERY excited - I can't wait to start buying things!!!!!

Another good note: I finally had REAL sex last night!!!! I know, I know - TMI but I haven't been able to have sex all first trimester because of #1 the gigantic ovaries ("don't over-exert yourself") and then when that went down a little I was on progesterone 2 - 4 times per day - not very sexy - and I know you know what I mean!!

I was alot more relaxed because I was out of the first trimester - I know I am paranoid and all - but oh Well. NOw I have to get in as much as possible because it is possible that they may put a cerclage (sp?) in a few weeks - depending upon my cervix (multiples has a risk of incompetent cervix - that coupled with my cone biopsy two years ago and my risk is moderate to high). Once the cerclage is in - that's it - no more sex again.

I tell you I feel like a NEW WOMAN!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

Ok - so a few words to my ladies:

Jamie - I know you are feeling down this month - this was only the first month of the magic monitor and (I know you know this) but you only had TTC sex hours after the 2nd peak day. Give the monitor two more months -

Jess - I know you are getting overwhelmed with the new house - I hope the closing and the move go smoothly - when your next bambino comes you will have that much more room - Good luck to you.

Lesley - I know you too have been down - the medical community issue in Australia seems like it would be very frustrating for even the most laid back person. I know it is hard to see other women getting pregnant when you have been trying longer. I want to say "Don't worry - it is going to happen for you" but I know how frustrating and empty those words can sound. Please know that I think about you often and I do have faith that it is going to happen for you. Ayden WILL be a big brother.

Ally - Woo Hoo!!! You are now annointed Oozy McPreggo II !!!! I am so happy for you that I can't even explain it - I can't wait to hear about every step of your pregnancy!

Chas - I am so happy that you are still feeling so good - it is the most exciting thing in the world - Have you bought anything good yet? Give us some pictures of the belly!!!!!

Liz - I am praying that your numbers start doubling.

Heather - Great pictures of the belly!!!


To all others - I hope everyone is doing well - I have been trying to keep up with reading the blogs even if I haven't been responding too well to PW and blogs.

That is it - thought it would be quick but I guess it wasn't - Have a great day everyone!

A BIG FAT CONGRATULATIONS TO.......

ALLY!!!! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR LITTLE BEAN (OR TWO!) I KNEW THIS WAS IT FOR YOU! I AM SO HAPPY- WHAT A GREAT PHONE CALL THIS MORNING!!!!!!

I WISH YOU A HAPPY UNEVENTFUL LONG PREGNANCY!!!!!!

quick update

Well, I know I have been the worst blogger and commenter (sp?) lately. I have been feeling pretty sick lately and tired. Basically I go to work and then sit my ass on the couch all night. I thought the nausea had passed on Friday night - I worked a 9 hour day - had a whole chicken parm hero for lunch - went food shopping - cooked steak, broccoli, rice, salad for dinner, cleaned the whole kitchen, folded and put away laundry - I had such a burst of energy - I told my husband I must be turning the corner.

Saturday hit and I felt barfy all over again - left work early - slept most of the day - went to my nephew's birthday cake where I was greeted with "God - you look tired" and "Do you feel ok? You are very pale" So I am not quite at the corner yet.

I have another birthday party at 3pm today - hopefully I will be out of there early.

I have been trying to keep up with everyone's progress lately.....

Lesley's rash, Ally's IUI, Jamie's Monitor Madness, Jess' scope, Chas' oops I have a wedding THIS weekend, LIZ' knocked up status....I just haven't really commented too much and I am sorry.

I go for an appointment on Tuesday - another sonogram and hopefully I will get to hear the heartbeat - we shall see.

I am officially past the previous miscarriage date - and I have started feeling good about this pregnancy.

We told Joey last weekend and he said "See mom - I told you there were two babies in your belly!"

I let him tell the rest of my family at yet another birthday celebration on Monday - he went up to my whole family (they were all sitting together) and said "Hey - guess what? My mom has TWO babies in her belly!" All of them just stared at him for a good 20 seconds - probably thinking "Did he just say what I think he said? Do we congratulate her or will she break out crying because we misunderstood him?"

Slowly they all turned around to me and I just smiled and nodded my head - needless to say they all screamed - my mom cried and my dad just looked at me and laughed. It was so nice relaying good news for a change. My mom was a tiny bit upset about being kept in the dark so long (especially since I out and out lied to her about being pregnant) but she understood why I kept it under wraps.

So now everyone knows - two weeks earlier than I had planned on telling them - but I am staying positive. I think I have mentioned this before but I told my husband "Regardless of what happens with these babies - this will be the last time I am pregnant - for good or bad - so I am making the decision to enjoy it - not to proceed so scared and nervous - I am going to embrace my big fat belly."(Believe me - it is getting big already! I am like the size I was at 16 weeks with Joey)

Well, I am off to Target now - nothing like waiting until the last minute to shop for a birthday gift!

I hope everyone is doing well and everyone gets good and knocked up this month!!! Good luck to all - I will update on Tuesday after my sonogram.

Uh Oh

I went to facade and asked the following questions:

1. Are the twins the opposite sex? Answer - No
2. Are the twins both boys? Answer - No
3. Are the twins both girls? Answer - Yes

LOL - my husband is going to shit - he says the babies are both boys! LOL

Quick Updated Pictures

Well - both beans are measuring at 8 weeks 6 days - in Baby A's picture you can actually see the little arm and leg buds forming - Baby B was sideways so you can't see it on his.

Here is Baby A:

Here is Baby B:

Hope everyone has a great day!

Still Queesy

Well, I am still queesy - the feeling didn't go away at all yesterday and has been with me all morning so far. I am a little happy about it because it makes me feel like things are right on track. I am just worried that it is going to get so bad that it will interfere with work - and since noone there knows about this - and I don't want to tell them for at least another 4 weeks (if possible) I am hoping that the nausea is manageable - we shall see.


Joey had his separation class yesterday - he did so well - I know that the fact that he can go into the class - kiss me goodbye - and be fine for an hour and a half in a classroom setting means that I raised a good well adjusted child - yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah - It still gives me an ache in my heart that he doesn't want to stay right by my side - is that silly? I know though that this class was the right thing to do considering that he starts Preschool in September - that will definately be a hard day for me! Not looking forward to that.

I am happy to see all the BFPers are feeling good. I hope their pregnancies continue to go smoothly!

Well - this wasn't a long post - I am going to lie down for a little while - my husband is home so I get a little break - Woo Hoo!

Talk to everyone soon!

Trying to post pictures one more time

If this doesn't work - I will have to wait until I get home....

If I can draw your attention.....

TO THE TICKER AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE - LOOKS LIKE I HAD TO CHANGE IT BACK - I AM HAVING TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE DOCTOR EVEN GAVE ME A DAY FOR THE C-SECTION - AS LONG AS EVERYTHING GOES SMOOTHLY I WILL DELIVER ON FEBRUARY 15TH - WHICH IS MY HUSBAND'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!

I AM STILL SHAKING!

Not moving appt. up

I am going to keep my appointment as is - so tomorrow at 9:45. I didn't move it up for a couple of reasons:

1. I am only having 2-3 attacks a day - and they aren't as intense and don't last as long as they were.
2. The rest of the day is just really a dull ache - a pain that I can handle.
3. I know there is nothing he can do for me anyway so what is the point?


I spent the ENTIRE day in bed yesterday with my son and husband - had a good old fashioned Veg out day - I should have been doing laundry - but I didn't - it felt so nice! Now I am backed up on housework - but who cares!!!

I hope everyone had a nice weekend!

In Pain

OK - I may be bumping up my next doctor's appointment. I am having so much pain on my left side from these cysts. Three nights ago I woke up with a bad stabbing pain in my back and stomach - it lasted about 15-20 minutes then went away. I discussed it with my doc and he said the pain is because of the humongous ovaries putting pressure on everything.

Well, all day long it hurt - on and off - but each time it came back it was a little worse. I left work early and went home to bed - every hour or so (maybe more) - the pain would start again - it begins as a dull ache and then goes to little needles - then to an ice pick - it lasts anywhere from 5-15 minutes then goes away.

Yesterday it wasn't as bad so I went to work - I was a little achy but ok - so stupid me decided I was ok enough to go on the office trip (my boss took us to dinner and then a play out in the Hamptons) - Big Mistake - between the ride to the hamptons, sitting in the restaurant and then sitting in the theatre - I was in total pain again last night - Thank God two of the people I work with went in my car - Peter drove home and I was able to lie down in the back seat.

I was ok through most of the night and then got another attack at around 4am - now I am just achy again - I leave today at 3 and I plan to spend the rest of the weekend in bed or on the couch. I am not sure if I am going to be able to go through this much pain every day for the next 12-15 weeks (which is how long my doc said it could take for the cysts to disappear) but really what choice do I have? They can't aspirate because of the baby - and surgery would also put the baby in jeopardy. I can't take alot of time off from work because I will be taking 8 weeks (totally paid mind you) once the baby is born.

I think I may do more short days - or try to do some more work at home so that I can rest up a bit. My doctor's appointment is on Tuesday - I will see how tonight and tomorrow goes and decide if I will go in on Monday instead.

Sorry this is a downer post - I am just venting because I am sitting here and my back is burning!!!!


On a good note:


CONGRATULATIONS HEATHER ON YOUR BFP!!!!! WAY TO GO!!!!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

sick sick sick

Well, I am six weeks and 2 days and I think morning sickness has started - all day yesterday I was nauseous (sp?). I tried to eat a nutrigrain bar and got half way through and started gagging.

I had pasta for lunch - right after I was feeling sick - but still feeling hungry!

Dinner - I had been so in the mood for chinese food - well, apparently the baby doesn't like Chinese because halfway through I had to push my plate away and lay down.

This morning - still nauseous. It isn't the debilitating (again sp?) type - I can do stuff - but I just have that gross feeling in my stomach all the time! I am a little happy about it though - hopefully it is a good sign that things are on the right track!

Hope everyone is doing well.

Jamie - I am so sorry for the BFN - this really sucks.
Lesley - Woo Hoo - a full week!!!!
Ally - Where have you been???
Jess - What cycle day are you on anyway? You are very calm this cycle!!!! LOL
Heather - I can't wait to hear an update on you!
Chas - The heartbeat is an amazing sound isn't it? Congratulations!
Jenna - I hope you feel better soon - what happened with the Support Group you were going to start?
Liz - Holy Medications Batman!!!

To everyone else - I hope you are all doing well! Talk to everyone soon!

My sonogram

Well, as of right now there is only one bean growing in there....however, he saw another black spot in my uterus that said it can POSSIBLY be another sac or more likely a uterine fibroid. So I will be changing my ticker to one - for now!

But........

I SAW THE HEARTBEAT!!!!!!! We couldn't hear it yet but the doctor told me that we should be able to hear it the next time - hey do you know with the vaginal ultrasound they can turn on the sound and hear the heartbeat!!! He said he couldn't measure the rate but it looked to him around 140 - I told Joe - It's another Boy! LOL My son told me - "Mommy, if we have a boy baby that wouldn't make me very happy!" What a little man.

My progesterone level was over 30.5 which is down a little from last week (because I went from 4 x per day to 2 x per day but still is an acceptable level). My HCG level was over 5000 - when I asked her about the doubling every 72 hours (Last week my level was 2928) she said that once the level is over 5000 they just say that it is "over 5000" they don't give an actual number. A level of 5000 is still on the high end for my week.

I don't have a scanner home - but once I go back to work on Monday I will scan the sonogram picture and post it.

I have to go back on the 14th for another sonogram and bloodwork and I have an appointment with my regular OB on the 19th.

That's it for now!

No big deal Update

Well, it is July 5th and nothing new to report as far as baby wise. I go on Thursday for my sonogram - I am nervous and excited - I am nervous that my cysts have not decreased in size and I am excited that I may be able to find out how many beans are cooking.

My 4th of July was nice - I went to my sister's house - she has a big party every year with fireworks and everything - they men light the fireworks off in the front and the women and all the kids sit in the backyard and watch - their neighbors were lighting them off as well so it was a pretty good show (though my brother in law was disappointed that he could only get 1 1/2 inch mortars instead of 3")

I wasn't feeling the greatest - my stomach was bothering me - I was having a little bit of cramping and as always - the gas pains - I also was in a bummed out mood because I had to go shopping in the morning for clothes - because everything is uncomfortable because of the bloating - I went up 2 sizes! So needless to say - I was feeling pretty crappy - especially with a bunch of young girls in little skirts running around.

It was nice seeing my Aunts though and having my whole family together.

My brother is coming home at the end of July! I can't wait. Anthony is in the Army and he got his orders to go to Afghanistan so every second with him counts right now. At first he was supposed to leave in September, then they pushed it back to January, then March - now they are talking about pushing it back until June of 06 - personally - they can't push it back far enough - it is getting volatile all over again over there - and he is going to the Afghan/Pakistan border - right where all of the violence has been taking place. I pray that things start calming down before he has to leave. He is my baby brother, he has a wife and three boys and I am so scared for all of them.

I can't wait to see the boys - they are getting so big! and they are so so cute!!

Here's Anthony:



Here is Kayden:



And finally - here is Aaron:



Aren't they cute???

What else: Hmm - I am on vacation until next Monday!! Woo Hoo - even though I still check and respond to my emails and any calls I get - the one thing that sucks about having so much responsibiity - you are never truly on Vacation!

I just finished The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks - pretty good book.

I am now reading Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz.

I am also still trying to get through the 3rd book in the Stephen King's gunslinger series - but for the life of me I can't bring myself to care what happens at the end of the book - my boss says to stick with it because the subsequent books are alot better - We shall see!

That is pretty much it for me - I will update again on Thursday after my Sonogram! Hope everyone had a great 4th of July!

So for those of you that read and aren't also members of PW (which there are all of none of you) - click the link for my update.

My Sonogram and Doctor Appointment Update


Basically, I am just taking it easy. Trying to eat right and relax - that is it. I am a little nervous that there are issues already at 5 weeks but I am trying to be optimistic. My levels were really good and they decreased my progesterone so that is a good sign. Right? Isn't it??

Maybe it was irresponsible of us to go ahead with the IUI when I had so many follicles but I believed in my heart that this was our last shot - I knew I would get pregnant this time around so we moved forward anyway. I hope that I just didn't set myself up for a huge disappointment.

Well, that is it really - everything is status quo. I don't really feel sick today just tired.

I also can happily report that - like my pregnancy with Joey - I have no real desire for junk food - it is amazing how our body works - it automatically knows what it needs. I have had a bagel with a little bit of cream cheese, chocolate milk (I can't stand regular milk), and a decaf coffee for breakfast. For lunch I had a salad and a slice of whole wheat bread - and I just snacked on potatoes and carrots that I stole from the pot roast that is cooking. With my son Joe - I just wanted Meals - I hardly ate any junk - I just didn't want it - Hopefully this trend will continue.

Hope everyone is doing well. Chas - I hope your appointment goes well today!

I FEEL SICK!

Hello everyone

First I want to say Thanks to everyone who have been so supportive - especially my IPP gals!!!

Do you like my license plate? Thanks Ally!

Well, not much to tell on the how I am feeling front - I am tired - I usually take a small nap everyday (when possible) and if not then I go to sleep early.

Not much else to speak of -which I KNOW I am only 4 weeks and 4 days - but makes me a little nervous.....I wish I wrote down exactly when I started feeling symptoms with Joey so I wouldn't be so paranoid!

I am so anxious for my sonogram Thursday, even though I know they will only be able to see the sac and not the actual baby! It took everything I had not to change the appointment to today!!!

I hope everyone is doing good!!!

Update

Well, I am officially pregnant - Thank the good Lord!

I go for my sonogram on Thursday - I had the choice of Tuesday or Thursday but I wanted to give the bean a little more time to grow (I know - two days isn't a long time).

Symptoms:
My boobs are a little sore.
I am really tired.
And get this - I can't Poop!!! I know, I know, Too much information but my belly looks like I am 5 months pregnant instead of 4 weeks!!! Any helpful hints would be appreciated!

I have told only a few people so far:

1. My best friend Kim.
2. Her boyfriend and our assistant Peter.
3. All the IPP
4. PW
5. My friend Sue - and get this - she is pregnant too - I am doing the very beginning of March and she is due mid February! We will be going to the same hospital as well - wouldn't that be something if we end up in the hospital together!!!


I am a little nervous about how the pregnancy will progress but I guess that is normal considering my history. I am trying to do everything right - cutting out 95% of the caffeine - taking my vitamin - eating right - it is all I can really do. I don't know if I will ever really relax completely but I am making sure that I enjoy this pregnancy for every second I have it.

My husband is spoiling me - so that is a definate perk!!!!

I will definately be waiting until I hit the 8 week mark before I tell anyone - and I will try to wait until after the first trimester if that is possible, so you will all have to put up with my ramblings about it here.

I am so happy that the IPP is finally getting the pregnancies we deserve - Ally, Lesley, Jaime & Jess - within the next two months all four of you will be pregnant - we are going to be the big fat Pregnant IPPs!!!!

Jenna you are being so good to your friend's babies - you are just setting up there mom's to spoil yours!!! Hope you are doing ok!


Hope everyone is doing well - Heather & Chas - give us an update!

Talk to everyone soon!!!

THE TICKER STAYS!!!!!!!

starting to get a little discouraged

Well, I am not feeling any real symptoms today - and my husband and Ally both believe I am not pregnant - probably because I have always had some type of symptom by now. I am holding out hope because both Heather and Chastity have said that they are not feeling any symptoms and we know that they are good and pregnant.

I was speaking with Ally and she thinks that I should give the IUI with injectibles another two tries - but I really have no desire to go through this again for next two months - I know it can be considered giving up - and I know that most people have been through way more than me for way longer than me - but I am just tired of the whole process now.

I am tired today - my son had a bad night last night - nightmares - so I am hoping he will let me take a nap when I get home! Thankfully, today is my short day!

Well, that is really it - Father's day was uneventful - I will update again after I take my test on Wednesday.

Have a good one everybody!

So How am i feeling?

Unfortunately, no real symptoms to speak of...my boobs still hurt but they have been hurting since before I ovulated b/c of the gonal f.

I am tired - but it is because I haven't been sleeping too well.

My stomach was really really tender for a few days and my doc said that if it gets worse (which it isn't - it is actually getting better) or if I develop any other symptoms, then I need to call him b/c I could have ovarian hyperstimulation - I did have 9 follicles after all.

No nausea or anything - but I really didn't have that for my other two pregnancies either. It is still really early to feel real symptoms yet. I am waiting for the exhaustion to set in - that with my boobs hurting was always my first clue - even before AF was due.

I have been cramping but that is from the progesterone - I had to go for blood yesterday for a progesterone check and they said it was borderline - 11.5 - my doc likes the level to be up around 15 - so guess what? They doubled my dose. I have to shove that stuff up my cooch 4 times a day now - I actually had to bring some to work with me because I have to do it here - Thank God this is a small office and they all know what I have been going through.

I have enough suppositories to last me until next Saturday - by then I will know if it is positive or negative and whether or not I will need to get a refill - what a pain in the ass.

Other than that - just getting ready for Father's day - my son and I are making cupcakes tonight for my husband (he already got his power washer yesterday) and a picture for Joe's Dad from the baby. We are having a bar-b-que at Joe's sisters' house tomorrow to celebrate with his dad.

I gave my dad 4 tickets to Sunday's yankee game - my boss had 4 extra - lol - I am buying the train tickets and the metro card for him - Happy Father's Day!

What is everyone else doing?

I hope everyone is doing well - I have to catch up on the blogs - so I will comment on everyone's soon - sorry I am such a slacker!

Now As per Ally's Request....

As you can see, and as ordered by Ally, I have again posted a ticker this month. I even got really ballsy and posted it with twin babies - How is that for OPTIMISTIC?????

Now, let's pray that I don't need to take the ticker down - lots of prayers - I am getting really hopeful this month and it is scaring the crap out of me!

Have a good day ladies!

Phantom Symptoms

OK - so here we go - 4dpIUI and already the analysis begins! I am so pathetic!!!

Well, my boobs are killing me - but I know it is from the Gonal-F and not from a potential pregnancy since:
1. If I was pregnant, implantation most likely hasn't even taken place yet!
2. My boobs were killing me before I even ovulated - so give it up Jenn!


The only other thing I am feeling right now is VERY VERY bloated and tender in my lower abdomen - it almost feels like - and again, skip over this part if you gross out easily - like huge gas pains in my stomach - like if I just could let a really big one go then I would be fine!!!!!

So that is it for me - still continuing on the Progesterone twice a day (Gross)!

I go for a Progesterone Check on Friday and then the Blood Pregnancy Test the following Friday. I think I will be taking a FRED on the 22nd - so that means only 8 more days to go!

Hope everyone is doing well!

As per Jess' request....

OK - sorry I have not updated - alot going on lately.

So here is my update....I went to the doc on Thursday and I had NINE follicles sized 13-18mm. Since I had so many my doctor told me that I should consider canceling the cycle since I have a 15-20% chance of having 3 or more with so many follicles!

I went home and talked it over with my husband, who promptly told me "We have come this far, and after everything you have been through, we are not canceling this cycle - we said this was it - let's do it!"

Me: "uh ok, if you are sure - because if I have a 15-20% chance of 3 or more then the chance of twins has to be around 40-50% (although I didn't ask my doc about this)"

Joe: "So, if we have 3 or 4 then we just go bankrupt - no big deal!!"

Me: "OK then - let's do this"

- I called my doctor and Joe gave me the Ovidrel trigger shot at 10:30am.

First IUI was on Friday - it had been awhile since Joe and I had danced - the day of the IUI is supposed to be from 2-7 days since his last "release".

Well, I kind of lied (no kind of about it - I lied). It had been 8 days, but I put that it was only 7 - I figured with 9 follicles it would have been ok.

Wouldn't you know it - Joe had (ok alert - going to be VERY CRUDE HERE)

(LAST CHANCE -HERE IT COMES)

(OK - Don't say I didn't warn you!)

Joe had a banner fucking load that morning apparently, because all of his levels were way above average. That first IUI they injected 18.6 MILLION sperm into me!!!! HOLY SHIT! Even the doctor said "This is a very good specimin!" So when I have 9 follicles is when Joe decides to step up to the plate !

2nd IUI was on Saturday - the specimin was back down to just average (since he had the 4th of July the day before) and there was only 6.2million on Saturday. So in total, I have had 24.8 million sperm inside me looking for 9 eggs! Basically - if I am not pregnant this month, then I am never getting pregnant!

Now I am going to tell you something that probably reflects bad on me - but Hey we are all honest here in blogland!

Since I had so many follicles, I felt so full for about 3 days - it feels like you have a bunch of really big gas bubbles in your abdomen (sp?) and it is kind of crampy.

So the day of the first IUI, he said "you are going to feel some pressure from the speculum"

He inserted the speculum and I was like (not out loud) "Hey, that doesn't feel so bad - it kind of relieves the pressure!" Of course, I didn't tell my doctor that - he would have looked at me like a freak - and on Saturday it went back to being totally uncomfortable - but hey - want to give you the whole experience.

SO....I started progesterone yesterday, I will go for a check at the end of this week, and a blood test around the 23rd or 24th - I will probably take a FRED on the 22nd - so we are just 9 short days away from the results!



As a side note....what the fuck is up with PW????? What a pain in the ass! Have a good one everybody!

cd9 update

went to doc this morning....I have a 13mm and an 11mm on the left side and an 11mm on the right - in addition to alot of small follicles - which is because of the PCOS.

I take two more nights of the 150iu and then go back for sonogram on Wednesday to see if it is time for the shot - If I get the shot on Wednesday, then IUI will be on Thursday and Friday - so I will know if it worked by the 24th of June.

I am so tired of this process...I just can't wait for it to be over - for good or bad - I hope everyone is doing well.

Bye

And now....for an update on my follicles

How sad is this....my life so revolves around trying to conceive that the only thing I have to write about is the status of my follicles - could I be any more pathetic?????

So - here is the update.....

I have 3 growing on the left...two are measuring at 9mm and one is at 8mm. I only have one growing well on the right - and she is at 8mm. So we shall see what happens.

I continue at the 150iu tonight and tomorrow and then I go for another sono and blood work on Monday morning. I am so tired....I never get to sleep anymore!!!!

Hopefully this cycle will be coming to a close soon - I will be on cd9 on Monday - I am not sure if that is too early for the shot.....or for them to grow significantly.....I only have enough gonal-f for tonight and tomorrow anyway - so hopefully I don't need to get another script!

well - that is my update - I am leaving work in a few minutes - I have been so busy all day - but really - when am I not busy - I need to hit the Lotto.........Bad!

Have a good one everyone!

Upping my dose

Well, doc just called - they increased my gonal-f dose from 75 to 150 - I have to go back for a sonogram on Saturday!

I hope this does the trick and I have big fat follicles on Saturday - I will only be on cd7 so I am not really sure how that works - if I could get the hcg shot so early. At the 150 level, I will only have enough meds to last me two more days (Saturday and Sunday Night) and then I will be out of the gonal - so many things to think about.

Just think....this time in 3 weeks I will be pregnant! How is that for optimism??????

Hope all is well in blogland - I will try to comment on everyone tonight!

Up and Down Day

What an up and down day. Today is Jennie's little boy's funeral....what a horrible thing to have to go through. I can't even imagine how she feels and my thoughts and prayers go out to her.

Chas got her long awaited BFP!!! What exciting news that is....I had such a feeling that she was pg.....but us in the IPP hate giving out false hope so we try to hold back! I pray that she has a long uneventful pregnancy! Way to go Chas!!!

I am still very excited for Heather as well - I can't wait to find out how many beans she has cooking in there!

I hope that Chas and Heather have started an IPP trend!

I started my shots two days ago - the first shot didn't go super smooth - some blood ended up in the vile of meds but my doc said that I could still use it. Last night's shot went much smoother - my husband sure has the hang of it....I think he enjoys sticking me with all the grief I have been giving him since being on the hormones!

I go for my first U/S tomorrow to see how the Gonal-f is working and if I need to increase the dosage. I really hope this medication works - I am praying that 3rd time is a charm....let's keep the IPP pg ball rolling!!!!

I can't wait for Ally to sell her house so I can beat her ass out of her pessimistic streak she has going on!

I finally chatted with Lesley last night (conference with Ally) - it was so good to finally talk to her - it has been so long!!!

My son's allergies were acting up - my husband doesn't believe me that he has allergies - but when cold/cough medicine doesn't stop his cough but Claritan does - um what does that tell you???

God, I am so tired!! Does Gonal-f make you tired???? I feel like I am going to fall asleep at the keyboard!

I hope everyone is doing well - Jamie - I am praying that the damn cyst is gone at your next appointment!

Have a good one everybody!

Am I crazy????

I must be fucking insane....seriously fucking insane....have the last two years not taught me anything?????
I am sitting here at work analyzing every little twinge because I want my fucking AF to arrive so I can go for my baseline tomorrow and start my injections tomorrow night. I am fucking looking forward to starting the gonal-f because I am optimistic that it will work.

When I first started the IUI process, I told my husband that I wouldn't get pregnant until the 3rd cycle. Then - because I am an asshole - I did a facade.com "yes/no" prediction thing...my questions:
1. Will I be pregnant this cycle? Answer: No
2. Will I get pregnant next cycle? Answer: No
3. Will I get pregnant my 3rd cycle? Answer: yes


So of course, before even CD1 I have my hopes totally up for this cycle....stupid superstitious bullshit...I know it is....and I am cursing myself that I am getting my hopes up again - Jeez before the cycle even starts......What the hell is wrong with me??? Why am I letting myself do this to myself? I must be a total idiot - seriously. But I can't help it...I have this feeling that it is going to work this month.....please, please, please ladies....set me straight.....I don't want to be all fucked up on day 30 when it doesn't come out positive!!!!

Ok - enough ranting for me....I hope everyone has a nice Memorial Day Weekend!

Why?

Usually I can find a reason behind everything. I have always been the person to say "everythign for a reason" but there is no reason for Jennie losing her baby. This is such shit.

Please pray for Jennie, her family and friends. I cannot even imagine what they are going through right now.

Blood Test today

UPDATE: No surprises here - Big Fat Negative. Then to top it off they tried telling me that I couldn't start injectibles this month because of the timing - I wouldn't be able to get the training in time - the Plainview class was filled for tomorrow and the only other person that could train me was not in until Tuesday! They also said that it may take a few days to get pre-certification for the medication. Well ladies, you know me...I wasn't having it.....So basically, I am going to Rockville Center to get the training and I lit a fire underneath the nurse practitioner's ass to get the pre-cert done!

I will admit though that when I was talking about it with my husband - before I made the appointment for the training on Saturday -- I totally broke down..I hate to say it but this whole process is breaking me down. I am not sure how many cycles I will be able to take this for...if the injectibles don't work - I don't think I will be going forward at all. Injectibles will only get one shot I think - and then I have to be done.

Side note: I am on pins and needles waiting to here from Heather - someone needs some good fucking news!




Well, I went for my blood test today - what a waste of $20 - they should call me by 2pm to tell me to stop the Progesterone because I am shit out of luck again this month.

Really tired - had to stop into work this morning because I couldn't connect to my computer from home last night - see what happens when you take work home - you end up having to come in anyway.

Ally - I am so sorry that bitch showed up.
Lesley - I know you are hurting now, but I am glad that you sought help. I look forward to having you back.
Heather - O MY GOD - that is such wonderful wonderful news - I can't wait to hear how the blood tests go!
Jamie - Hope you are hanging in there - give us an update soon
Jess - I miss you! But your funny entries on your blog crack me up.
Chas - Hope you are doing ok - you haven't updated in a couple of days - thinking about you.
Stacia - I really hope you are doing ok - I am still thinking about you.
Heather M - I know the waiting is definately the worst part - I really hope this is your month
Liz - I hope you are feeling better today and that "hope" has found her way back to your house.
Jenna - I hope your counseling session went ok. Please let us know how you are doing.

I hope Jennie is doing ok - Ally please let her know I am thinking of her.

To everyone else that I have missed - I hope that you all get your BFP's soon - I want off that fucking Board! LOL

Have a good day everyone. I will update later to make the negative official. Bye.

As you will note....

I have taken down my ticker - I should have known it wouldn't work - that is what I fucking get for being optimistic. I took a test this morning - a first response early detection - 2 days before AF is due or 12dpo - BFN - a big fat MOCKING Negative - this fucking sucks. I sat on my bed this morning and looked at my husband - when he looked at me I just shook my head - he knew what I meant - "Nope, failed again! My fucking ovaries just aren't cooperating."

So this is it I think - I will be going on injectibles next cycle and if that doesn't work then I am done, finito, caput - I am done with this roller coaster ride - I will need to accept that another baby just isn't in the cards for us and have to believe that there is some plan behind why Joey can't have a brother or sister.

I am so tired today - I am tired of the letdowns, I am tired of the false hope - I am just tired of this whole process. It is like a slap in the face to have to keep using the suppositories right now when I know there is no reason for it - but I have to continue until my blood test on Thursday - another waste of a $20 copay - I hate this.

I pray that Heather gets some good news with her 3 beans - we need some light on the PW board - it is getting so depressing over there.

OK - I am out - I need to work, unfortunately.

For the Record....

Pregnancy Weekly SUCKS!!!!

Yes, I know there is a ticker

OK - so I am trying to think positive - I put a ticker up - maybe I am jinxing myself - but I have spent over two years telling myself that I wasn't pregnant - so this month I am going to tell myself that I am - maybe if I do everything different this month it will actually happen.

I am sure that I will be back in two weeks to remove the ticker - but I will try anything at this point.

Will you even see this???

Well, I am not sure if anyone will even be able to read this, considering my blog is all SCREWED!

To catch everyone up to date- I have finished my 2nd IUI cycle - I am now in the two week wait - I had one IUI on Thursday and another on Friday - I was a little crampier this cycle than last but I guess that makes up for how well I did on the increased Clomid dose - well mentally anyway - I still only produced one good follicle with the 100mg.

If this dose doesn't work than it is on to the injectibles for our final (or at least that is what I am saying right now)IUI cycle. I won't be moving on to IVF - it is just too expensive without a guarantee that it will work - I haven't inquired -but I am pretty sure that Vytra won't cover IVF- most insurances don't. It is a scary thought to think that I may be giving up this quest in another month - I am just praying that it works so I don't have to go through giving this up - I know it will be hard to accept but two and a half years, one miscarriage and 3 IUI's - I think it is time for me to throw in the towel. If I did not have Joey, I am sure I would feel different - but I have had the experience - I know what it is like to look into the eyes of my child - so I think if a 2nd baby is not in the cards for me - well then I will be ok - my son continues to amaze me every day - he is an incredible kid - I got so lucky!

Speaking of Joey - he is in the "why" phase now - which is driving me CRAZY - a simple question can last 15 minutes because everything is "but why?" I knew this stage was coming - and I was dreading it - it is as bad as I thought it would be!

He is also really starting to test the boundaries - he has thrown 3 temper tantrums in the last 3 weeks - which is NOT like my son - I had to take him out of McDonalds and out of circle time at Mommy and Me because of it - totally out of character for him - and I hope he gets it out of his system REAL quick - because it doesn't work at getting him what he wants!

I have to go to a shower for a 17 year old tomorrow -- any idea why I can't muster up the enthusiasm (sp?) for this party?

I saw my friend last night - we had dinner - she is also trying to get pg - has been working on it for about 10 months now - I think I am going to give her my monitor - I am not using it. She is awesome - so funny - I worked with her about 7 years ago in a pizzeria - we went a few years with only talking once in a while and then about 5 months ago we decided to make a point of meeting for dinner at least once a month - and we have been sticking to it - we missed April because it was really crazy - but we have been good. I think it is important to work on the few friendships I do have.

I hope everyone is doing well, it seems as if everyone has been pretty quiet lately.

Lesley - I know it seems frustrating for you but I am keeping the faith for you.
Ally - You better be pg this month - I hope your trip to San Antonio went ok.
Jess - Glad to have you back TTC! Good luck!
Chas - I was going to respond to your blog - but I am still thinking my advice over since it is such a delicate situation.
Jamie - It sounds like you are having a rough time - you are almost done re-setting and I can't wait to hear about how well the BCP worked for you!
Heather - Good luck with the transfer on Sunday - I will be thinking about you and praying for you!
Jenna - I know it is hard when it feels like noone remembers or understands about m/c - and unless they have experienced it they don't - try to stay positive - I'm thinking about you.
Heather M - Have you thought about going to Classmates.com to see about getting in touch with that friend? I didn't go to my 10 year - not enough time passed as far as I was concerned.


For Everyone else I am forgetting - I hope you all have a great day - good luck with the 2WW or the Ovulation Wait or the Baby dancing or the Cyst skrinage - whatever the case -

The party was fabulous

Well, the party was really fantastic! Samantha looked beautiful and everyone had a great time - her candle ceremony was really great and she wrote a lot of wonderful speeches for everyone - she is really talented that one - in so many things - she is becoming such a gorgeous young woman and I am so proud of her!

My mother's day was uneventful - we went to lunch at OKIE DOKIES and then visited with my mom. We had bar-b-que at my sis-in-laws house. Joe pre-ordered Star Wars tickets for me - we are going on Saturday the 21st!
I know that doesn't sound like a big deal - but it is a nice gesture considering he has absolutely no desire to see the movie! We will probably go to dinner before hand - my brother will watch the little man.

Last night I had to take my niece and nephew to their concert - I am sorry - but there is nothing worse then sitting through a 6th grade concert!! Their band played really well though - but the orchestra band sounded like Cats in Heat! It was terrible - and I know I am a terrible person for saying so!

ON the TTC front - I am on CD12 - yesterday my lining was thin and my doc was talking about possibly having to skip this cycle and go on a different medication next month - well, thankfully, I went back this morning and my lining is triple A, measuring at 7 - so we will be able to do IUI this cycle!

The doc will call with my blood results - if my blood shows a surge than IUI will be tomorrow - if no surge then I will get the shot tomorrow morning and IUI on Thursday - God I hope it works this cycle - I am getting so anxious to be pregnant!

OK - well I think that is all for the update! Have a good day!

CD 8

Well, it is cycle day 8 - took my last Clomid dose last night - I have to say - symptoms this month aren't as bad as last month - I am not as tired (maybe b/c of the prenatals I have been taking), I only had 2 hot flashes so far and my mood has been pretty even (which DH is SOOO thankful about).

I have a busy weekend planned so I probably won't be online too often. Tomorrow is my niece's sweet 16...for those of you that didn't see it back in February...here is her dress:




(Sammy is way cuter though!)

Anyway, after work today I will be going to my sister's house and helping with last minute details - then I have to go buy something for myself to wear (yes, I have something I can wear - but I want something new!)

Tomorrow at 12:30 we meet at the hall to decorate - my husband has to pick up the food at 6 and then the party starts at 7.

Sunday is mother's day - I don't know what DH has planned - but I am sure I will be busy.

My husband still didn't get his results - he was supposed to go yesterday - but he called and re-scheduled for MOnday because he was in the middle of 3 different jobs and he didn't want to leave - because you know, a heart problem isn't a serious thing at all - done arguing about it!

So that is that - I hope everyone is doing well and I hope to talk to you all soon!

CD 3

Went to doc this morning for initial cycle bloodwork and base line U/S.

Turns out....they are doubling my clomid - started 100mg a night - my husband is screwed - does this mean I will be a Double Bitch? I might get pregnant after all this - but I may also get divorced.

That's pretty much it - the cycle begins again.....stay tuned

CD 1

Well, AF arrived this afternoon at work - of course it was 15 minutes after my doctor's office closed. I will need to go to Plainview on Sunday for a baseline U/S and blood work - don't really like the Plainview Office - but oh well.

OK - Ally you are our last hope!

King Joseph 2 

King Joseph 

This Uterus is Bare

WELL, just as I knew it would be - I got a call from the nurse this afternoon - Negative. I was with my father when I got the call so I couldn't get upset - Dad isn't really aware of all that I am going through right now trying to get pregnant - and honestly - he has other things to worry about.

I have to discontinue the progesterone and then go back to the doctor on Cycle Day 3 for a base line and to start Clomid and this whole stupid cycle all over again.

Am I discouraged? Abso-fucking-lutely! This is totally out of control - how come my mother could have 7 - count them 7 - kids and I can only get pregnant with one????? Why can teenage sluts have baby after baby that they don't take care of and my son can't have a brother or sister?

Why can some women get pregnant when their underwear touch their husbands in the wash and I have to have my husband Jerk Off in a Cup and have some lady inject into me .....and I still can't get fucking pregnant!!!! What the fuck is going on here??? Am I trying to hard?? It seems that I got pregnant so much easier when I didn't have all this information. All I did was chart BBT - had sex the Morning that I saw the Spike (yes the day of the spike - not the day before or two days before - but the day OF the Spike - and all websites clearly indicate that once your temps go up - it is often too late to get pregnant - well, not in my fucking case!!!) Took me 3 months with Joey and 2 months with my second - Now with all this info - nothing for over a fucking year! This is such bullshit - it really is!

Ally, Lesley, Jaime, Jess, Chastity, Heather, Jenna, ALL of the Women on PW - where the hell are our BFP's????? All of these women deserve to hold beautiful babies in their arms - where is the fucking justice - what could possibly be the plan?????????????????????????????


OK - enough of figuring out the plan....I understand that maybe I am not meant to know what the plan is....only that there is one.....I will need to be content with that.....I will need to learn and accept that maybe I will not have another child - for whatever reason that may be - maybe my son needs my full attention, maybe God knows that two kids would be too much pressure on me and I would not be able to handle it.....maybe other people deserve one more than me.....I don't know - I am done trying to figure it out....3 more tries on the IUI - then I am done - that will be the end of my journey.

On another note:

I took my dad to the Neurologist today. He believes that it is MS. My father has to go for two follow up tests and then a consultation with an MS Specialist for a 2nd opinion. If these two tests are inconclusive, then he will need to go for a spinal tap - I am praying that the tests are conclusive and he does not need to go through this.

The doctor said that the prognosis of someone diagnosed later in life with MS is good - because it can take several years for the symptoms to progress - had he gotten it in his 30's, he could be in a wheel chair right now.....Since he is 60, he might be 80-90 before it progresses that far - and not to be morbid - but he may not even be around then (My dad's words were...."Well, I hate to break it to you, but men in my family die early" I promptly told him to shut up!)
The MS, if that is what it is, will be managed with injections based upon the specialists recommendations.
The good news is he got the OK to go back to work tomorrow - so that is a good thing. The doctor kept him on the Plavix - just in case it was in fact a stroke.

RE: Joe's Stuff:

Well, Joe has an appointment with his cardiologist tonight and he will get the results of the monitoring - so we shall see what that doctor says.



On a good note: I have a dinner dance to go to on Saturday night - so at least I will be able to drink! And you can bet I am going to have my fill of Italian Red Wine!

What little hope I had.......

Is slowly seeping away....I am getting cramps.....that's all folks!!

The worst blogger

I have to be the worst blogger in the world - days and days go by with no update for me.

Well.....I took two tests - I took one yesterday afternoon - BFN and one this morning - BFN.

I am due for AF on Wednesday - but it will be prolonged because of the progesterone - I will be going for a blood test on Wednesday - which will be a big fat waste of $20. I don't know why I am even bothering - I must be a glutton for punishment - like I want to hear her say - nope sorry - negative - Jeez! I can't even get a false positive.

I know I said I wasn't expecting it to happen in the first round - it so rarely does - but part of me is like "Holy Shit - they put 5million good sperm in my uterus - and not one freakin' tadpole could find it's way - what the fuck is the point - why the hell am I putting myself through this?" This past month I have been poked and prodded - 20 viles of blood have been taken from me, I downed Clomid pills, I had sonograms, I am currently shoving progesterone suppositories up me (real fun) - I have been wearing a pad for a week and I don't even have AF yet! Maybe it just isn't going to happen for me - maybe I should just give all this shit up- count my blessings and move the fuck on!

OK OK I know - pessimism does not become me - I am the silver lining chick - the "your baby isn't done cooking" chick - so I promise to get over this quick.

I went to the Yankee game - I left in the 7th inning - they were beating Texa 8 - 1, that is much better than yesterday's embarrassment!!! Come on guys - get it together! That is the thing with the Yankees - they aren't happy unless they are ripping your guts out!

We took my two nieces - they seemed to have a good time and I navigated the subways pretty good. All in all it was a nice day.

Neurologist Appointment for Dad on Wednesday - discussion about MS - not looking forward to it.

My husband gets results of heart monitoring on Wednesday too - I hope all is well.

So many things set up for Wednesday - I pray it is not a day of bad news - not sure how much more this back can take.

My brother (in the Army) can't come to my niece's party next Saturday - he was picked for a mission that he is not allowed to talk to us about b/c it is classified - OK so now I am not worried! He says it isn't dangerous but he lies.

OK - I think that is it because this was a dreary downer post - Sorry - I finally update and it is this bullshit.

I hope everyone is doing ok. Bye.

Progesterone.....LLLOOOOWWWW

Well, got the results of the Progesterone - Low 8.22 - it should be around 15-20 by now. It is 9:16pm and I am waiting for the pharmacy to get here to give me my progesterone suppositories.....GROSS!

That's it...not much else...just bummed.

Quick one - I am at work!

Just a quick update- sorry I am so lax about updating and commenting - I am really bad at that!

OK so I am on cd 22 - 7dpo, 6dpIUI, one day till progesterone check (thank you Ally for info), 8 days until pregnancy test. I hate admitting it....I am starting to get so optimistic. I play this game with my husband...I tell him "Right now, if you had to say yes or no which would it be? Am i pregnant or not?"

Of course, he says "Yes" - because really - why would he tell me no? He says it is because my boobs are gigantic (mind you - they are always gigantic - they are double dandies!) . SO I smile, and tell him - it is b/c of the Clomid.

I have absolutely no symptoms of anything yet. I am tired - but I have been running ragged for the past two weeks - so it isn't pg tired (unfortunately).

My sister in law had her baby a month early - a little baby girl 5 lbs 6 oz - She let me be in the room for a while (until it got really hairy). It was such an honor. Although I admit that I secretly thanked God that Joey was breached and I didn't need to experience those pains!! (I am such a wuss!)

My husband has an appointment with the cardiologist on Thursday - he has a non-specific abnormality in his EKG - seriously - Can we pile ANY more shit on me!! Well, I am just glad he is getting looked at - We were at the Hospital from 8pm Friday night until 6AM Saturday morning - then I went straight to work! THEN I went to the Hospital at Noon for my sister in law - I did not get home until 11:00pm Saturday night!!! I was up from 6am Friday until 12am Sunday - 42 freakin hours straight!!! I got maybe 45 minutes sleep in the hospital - but that was it! I spent all day SUnday in bed! I am still tired.

Isn't it weird that you don't get enough sleep - you are tired for days. If you sleep extra one day, the energy only lasts that day!! You can't bank sleep - strange.

Very tired of the drama at PW - we were doing really well there for a while - I guess every few months a little crap needs to get started to weed out the assholes and make everyone closer who is there. We are accused of being a clique - but (I think Jaime may have said it) - so what??? It certainly isn't a group that any one of us wanted to be a part of - the OVER A YEAR group - it sucks balls - big time.

Are we sensitive? You bet we are! I don't give a shit about it either! I find it odd though that our board NEVER goes to other boards to start trouble - I mean EVER - but people find that it is all right to start garbage on ours - well - whatever - drama over - thank goodness. We tend to get wrapped up in the negative when it is going on - but the truth is - 99.9% of the ladies on that board are ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC - they help when they can - and if they can't - they keep their mouths shut or just say a "sorry I don't have info - but I am thinking of you!". We all understand that being at that site isn't our end-all - really there are only about 5-7 new posts per day - but I LOVE that - I could never keep up with the other board.

I guess it is sad - because we know all the questions and answers so they don't fill up the board every day - but that is what we wanted.

I am saying to all who read this and everyone on PW - You are wonderful women and I pray that someday soon we can all get the HELL off that site!!!

Well, I guess it was longer than I expected!

IUI and DD (no - not Dunkin' Donuts)

Well, I had my IUI yesterday. The longest part was waiting for them to spin the swimmers out of control. When all was said and done they injected 5 MILLION tadpoles into my uterus.....maybe I am off the wall here - but when you think that there are 5 MILLION sperm swimming inside you....it kind of grosses me out...

Also, I have a question for anyone with an answer.....where do the other 4,999,999 sperm go after one fertilizes the egg???

The IUI itself wasn't too bad...I had some cramping when she put the cathetar into my cervix that lasted about 1/2 hour afterwards but it was not bad at all - the anticipation is definately worse than the reality!

So I go next Wednesday for a Progesterone blood draw and the following Wednesday for a Blood pregnancy test - 13 more days to go until I know either way! I have a busy few weeks so hopefully the waiting won't be that bad.

Monday night I am going to some Psychic guy who is supposed to talk to dead people - ok - I know it is hokey - but you never can tell - I went once before and my boss' husband was read - it was kind of weird - I am giving my Grandparents and Joe's mom one more chance to come through- if not - then obviously they have nothing of importance to say to me (or the guy is a complete and utter sham) and I will save my money.

Wednesday 20th - Progesterone Draw

Thursday 21st - Mommy and Me

Sunday the 24th - Yankee Game (against Texas - Sorry We need to kick your butt Ally!)

Then 27th is the Test.

I also have to bring my dad to the Neurologist on the 27th - Oh and did I tell you.....My dad got hit by his truck last week....Jeez - this guy can't catch a freakin' break.

He put the truck in park, got out, went around to the back, looked under it for some reason, stood back up and then it started rolling backwards towards him - he jumped back , fell on the ground, hit is head and hurt his back. He spent another afternoon in the hospital - had to get a cat scan - I guess he won't be happy until he totally obliterates his brain!!! What a handfull that man - lol.

On another Note..........I went to the Duran Duran Concert at that Garden last night - I was AWESOME! We got stuck for about 45 minutes on the train so we couldn't go to a restaurant for dinner, we just hit some sandwich place - but it saved us money - so of course, I bought a T-shirt because I am such a nerd.

The guys sounded so good live - which was a relief - I have always wanted to see them live and I would have been pissed if they sounded like shit.. Alot of bands sound good on vinyl (ok - I am soooo dating myself - but I don't know what CD's are made from) and then live they sound like complete shit - makes you realize alot of bands are purely studio creations. But they sounded so good!

They have a song on their new CD about Bedroom Toys - when they played it someone through a blow up doll on stage - it was funny.

Then when the lead singer was finished introducing the band, he asked someone from the audience to introduce him - and of course the one person out of 20,000 fucking people that doesn't know his name - introduced him as someone else - He was like "Ok, maybe someone else" Too funny.

We also had these WACKOS sitting near us. There was one couple directly to our left - OH MY GOD>>>>They were wacking out like dancing with all these hand gestures and acting out the songs - it was terrible.

THEN....there was this couple - ONe was really big and flamboyent dancing all over the place like he was totally wacked out on Crack and his girlfriend - ok picture this - she had long ratty hair and she had the sides up with one of those butterfly clips - she was wearing 80's style tight light stone washed stretch denim jeans with one of those BIG black Leahther belts with the really Big buckle (again - check out VH1's Awesome 80's if you don't know what I am talking about), a too too small tank top and a black vest - her Gut was totally hanging over her pants (it was actually really gross) and she was just flipping out gyrating and humping the guy next to her - My husband looked at me and said "EVERY FUCKING TIME" lol.

Thankfully the other people around us were normal.

Husband isn't really a fan - he came along to be my Midnight train bodyguard - but he said he really enjoyed it - he was actually moving a little to the music - which is BIG for my husband - So serious.

Well, that is it - I am jumping in the shower now because I am off to Mommy and Me with the boy! I will talk to everyone later.

I got the shot!

OK - so I had an 18mm follicle on the left!!! Woo Hoo - I got the shot today and tomorrow am I go in for IUI - Here comes Dixie Joey!!

They give you the shot in the stomach - ouch! Actually, it doesn't hurt going in - good thing I have all that excess fat! Afterwards though - it feels really sore!

So IUI in the AM, go home maybe take a nap and then DURAN DURAN at 8pm Baby! I can't wait - I am so psyched!!!!

Well, that's my update - I will let you know how it goes tomorrow!


Update:

My doc's office just called - they said that my blood work did in fact show a surge so we are definately on for tomorrow at 8am. I also asked her to clarify what the doc said about my endometrium lining (remember it was thin before) - and she said that my lining was Triple A - which means it is nice and fat for implantation!

Note to self: Stop getting excited Jenn - just stop it right this minute!

Note to Ally: Good luck today girlie - I am thinking about you.

Note to Lesley: Damn it - we need to talk - I'm sorry I had every intention of getting back online last night but then I conked out!!!!

Note to Everyone: I miss you guys - Sorry it took me so long to comment on your blogs !

Wow, it's been awhile!

I wish I could say that life has been exciting...it hasn't. So.....here are the latest happenings in Jenny land.....

Trying to Conceive:

Well, I have gone for two sonograms so far and still the follicles are not ready yet. I go for my third sono tomorrow - I really hope that I can get the shot because it is $20 a pop for the co-pay when I go. If I am lucky enough to get the shot then IUI will be either Wednesday or Thursday...I am off both of those days so it will be convenient!

I am getting frustrated and I admit that I am sad after each appointment - I hate that i have to go through all of this just to give Joey a brother or sister. I know if I am lucky enough to get pregnant than I will feel that it was all worth it but it doesn't make the wait any easier.


Dad's Health:

Well, Dad had his second MRI and they can't find any signs of the stroke and apparently he still has the lesions. What this means is that the doctor's think it was an MS episode and not a stroke. He is back at work and he is happy about that. We have a Neurologist appointment on the 27th so we will see what the doctor says. Meanwhile, I am doing research all over the place on it and asking a bunch of questions (Note: if anyone has any info on the subject, please send it my way).

Joey:

Joey is doing good...he is VERY happy that the weather is warmer - we have been outside every chance we get. His aunt bought him a new bicycle (a big boy bike with training wheels) so we have been up and down the road a million times.

I signed him up for Preschool ($250 later!) and now he can't wait to go. He keeps telling me "Mommy, you can't stay with me at Preschool!" I know that the fact that he is independent enough that he feels he can go to school himself means that I did my job well - but it still breaks my heart to think how big he is getting. It also makes me nervous that he will not be that close to his brother or sister because they aren't super close in age....BUT then I remember that my sister and I are 4 years apart and we are REALLY close...and I am close with my other brothers and sisters as well and there is 10 years both ways between me and the oldest and youngest....so I guess it will all work out for the best.

The way I think about it is (and I have mentioned to a few already) is that my baby is not ready to be born yet - the perfect baby for our family is still in the production phase - when he or she is ready then they will come to us. I say this because I KNOW that if I do have another baby, when he/she is born I will say "Oh, she/he was so worth the wait...I wouldn't take a minute of it back"

If I don't ever have another child? Well than that just means that apparently my son needs my undivided attention - and I will accept that as well. My prayer for everyone is they get exactly what they are supposed to get. Country lyrics say it best.....

"Some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers"

"God bless the broken road, that led me straight to you"

(Hey - no one warned my that a side effect of Clomid was turning into a cheese ball!!)

What's going on with me?

Well, two more days until the Duran Duran Concert in the city!!! OK - so like I said, I am a cheese ball, but I Can't Wait!!!!!!!!!! My husband and I will be taking the 4pm train into the city, having dinner and then going to the concert - like a bona fide date!!! It has been so long since we were able to spend some time together as man and wife instead of mom and dad or aunt and uncle or accountant and drywall contractor. Hopefully I will get some crazy hot and heavy sex too!!!!!

I went to a baby shower Saturday - it was fine as far as baby showers go - the food was excellent. I felt bad because my sister in law and the new moms friend threw the shower....but my sister-in-law got stuck doing EVERYTHING. The other girl didn't help set up, didn't help during the party and didn't help Clean Up - what a bitch. All she did was write down who gave what while the mom was opening gifts and shook her boobs - it was a disgusting display.

My sis-in-law was so tired that I took her son to his Lacrosse game the next day so she could sleep in a little bit. And something I didn't realize.....I like Lacrosse!!!! The game was so exciting and my nephew did so well - he scored a goal and everything. The team he played against was supposedly really good but they beat them six to three!!!! Woo Hoo!

I think I just may offer to take him to next Sunday's game as well!!!


Work has been crazy...the tax practice was behind a little so I had to actually do some tax returns.....I never do tax returns......it wasn't bad though - they didn't give us the really tough ones! The 15th is only 4 days away - it is almost over. They are in good shape now though so that is a good thing.



Well, I guess that is it....I am sorry that it took so long to reply to everyone's blog or to post on PW - I am a complete slacker!!! Love you guys!!!!

Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Blood Work

Well, last night was my first night of Clomid....Come on Viable eggs! I was reading a little on PCOS last night and some of the symptoms. I was reading that only 40% of the women that do ovulate on Clomid (that have PCOS) will get pregnant - I guess that is why Doc is doing IUI too - instead of just Clomid.

If my blood work comes back that I have an insulin resistance or diabetic - doc will put me on metaformin (sp?). From what I am reading this too increases your chances of getting pg.

I went for my blood work this morning - got there at 7:10 and didn't leave until 9:40 - I had to get the 2 hour Glucophage test - which means - they draw all my blood (for all tests and glucophage test) then I wait an hour - take more blood - wait another and hour and they take the final draw.

It was a pain in the ass but they seemed really efficient and the guy was nice and gentle (considering he had to prick my arm 3 x.) Now I have black and blues on the inside of the elbow on both arms (Go blood drawn yesterday at Docs office).

So......4 more doses ofClomid and then to the doctor's office 3 days later after that (cycle day 10). If follicles are big enough then I get the HCG shot - which means IUI would be either Friday or Saturday - if it is Saturday then I will have to go out to Plainview for the insemination - which will suck. I also have a baby shower on Saturday - so I am going to have to take the WHOLE day off - originally I was going to work 7-12 - Oh well - I will do what I have to do.

It is kind of a scary feeling to know that if I am not pregnant in the next 4-6 cycles the most then I am done- I don't think we will do the IVF - it is way too expensive - but then again - I don't know how I will feel in 6 months - so Never say Never I guess.

If I get pregnant on this cycle, I will be due on January 3rd. So what that means is that I will probably have the baby in December 2005 - they will C-section me early because of uterus issues from my last pregnancy.

I am a little worried that I may get pregnant with multiples - not too worried that I will not do the procedures - more than taking care of them - I am worried about carrying them. I had a Cone Biopsy last year and now I run the risk of having an incompetant cervix - I think I will get the suture (sp?) early on - to prevent that - my doctor is pretty good like that and discusses my wants as well as his suggestions.

I have to call the doctor in a little while so I can discuss with the office manager the referrals she will need to call up for (Semen Analysis at Hospital and IUI). I know everything is covered - but all the red tape bullshit is a pain in the ass - so I am worried that they will screw it up. I am also curious to see if I will need to call up EVERY month for Authorization if IUI doesn't work the first month - ok no negative thinking - it will work, it will work, it will work!!!

Talk to everyone soon!